Teflon

As I exhaustedly stood in New York’s Penn Station on a Friday evening impatiently waiting for the train that would take me home and hopefully remove all recollections of anything that remotely sounded like “work” from my mind, a heavy set red headed woman engaged me in what I thought would be delicate chatter. As we boarded the train she took it upon herself to trail behind me, sit uncomfortably close to me in the two-seater then effortlessly began to share the following very personal story. I’ll call this woman Vivian.

As Vivian continued to squish me in my seat to the point of feeling “bone crushed” she blindly and painstakingly appeared to babble to no one in particular (not once did she give me anymore eye contact once we left the train platform and sat down, she just kinda stared off into oblivion), about how her “better half” has been cheating on her with another woman for the past two years. Thinking that something must be awry, she saved her duckets and hired a very expensive private investigator that afforded her the opportunity to catch her guy dead-to-rights in a position that’s, let’s say, couldn’t be misconstrued as anything other than sexual. After Vivian confronted her guy about his already confirmed affair, her “sweetie” looked her smack dab in the eye, told her how much he loved the ground that she walked on and denied any wrongdoing whatsoever. He furthered his intent to deceive by responding, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Don’t you love me anymore Vivian? Why are you behaving this way? Why are you doing this to us?” Putting his hands on each of Vivian’s shoulders, he then passionately kissed her (according to Vivian the kiss was a real winner), turned his back to her and self-assuredly walked away. UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I know you’re waiting to hear what her guy’s response was after Vivian showed him the pics right? Well so was I, until she at long last, turned to face me and told me that she never showed her guy the pics! Can you believe that? She never showed her man the pics of him in the act with Susie Sunshine!! Yes, I wrote it twice so you can be assured that I said exactly what you read. Vivian couldn’t show him the pictures because she said that she didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. She told me that she still loves him (I empathized with her on that one cause we know we have no choice but to love em even though they should be sleeping outside behind the dumpster snuggled next to Fido the cat. That is until we are strong enough to love ourselves more than we love someone undeserving of our love). Vivian further explained to me that regardless of his infidelities and the pictures that she saw it’s still easier to be with him than without him. Obviously the pain of being alone surpassed her pain of being with him while he continues to cheat on her. Can you believe that one? Your guy is cheating on YOU, you have pictures and a beyond valid reason to kick the jerk to the curb yet, you place his feelings above yours. To spare hurting him you decide to keep the evidence to yourself. Hmph! hmph, hmph. What’s the world coming to? All I can say is I am not supporting her decision AT ALL! But what was I supposed to tell this woman? I was just an unknown commuter that she chose as her sounding board for the moment.

I found it bizarre that I would meet a woman who is going through a situation such as the one she shared with me. However, check out the following and you’ll see why I feel this way:

I ended a dating relationship that I was involved in with a man who I ultimately found out was cheating on me with a younger woman. When I confronted him with my suspicions he told me that he only loved me and he had no idea what or whom I was referring to. I wanted to believe in my guy, wanted to believe that he did in fact have mad love for me and would never do anything to disrespect our relationship. Since I live in the real world and not in Wonderland, unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that he was cheating. Further, the woman that he was cheating with was twenty-two years old! Might I add my daughter is twenty and the guy that I was seeing is thirty-eight! When I found out the age of my “so-called” competition that in and of itself took me for a huge loop because I never figured a man that I was dating would have an affinity for a woman young enough to be my daughter.

What I’m trying to get to is this: I was and I still am in love with this guy. I can’t turn off my emotions as quickly as I would like understanding that reality tells me that I should speed up the “I’m ova you process”. Although with time, I am hopeful that the thought of him will become a distant blur. However, I was and probably still will be tempted to get back with this guy if it weren’t for the respect that I have for myself which won’t allow me to act upon those illogical thoughts. (I get ashamed to myself if I do something too farfetched from what’s considered appropriate for myself in my eyes).

It’s funny how when my guy was out “doing his dirt”, whenever I called his cell (at all times of the night and day), all I got was his voicemail. (I always allow one to hang himself so I tolerated this for a couple of weeks). Hence, he rarely returned my telephone calls nor did he bother to pay me a visit during his self-imposed hiatus from “us”. NOW that I’ve changed my cell number, given all of his belongings that were so conveniently left at my residence back to him and told him that I am too much woman to be his other woman or “one of his women”, the tables have turned. He is now calling me at work like a banchie burning in hell, telling me how much he loves me and how hurt he is because he doesn’t have my new cell number. (What does him having my new cell number have to do with the real meat and potatoes of the problem?? Don’t ask me, I’m clueless). Since I was still reluctant to pass off the new digits to him, he went so far as to tell me that I didn’t have to worry about him calling me at work ever again because as long as he didn’t have my new cell number he no longer considers me a “friend”. Hey, I was too cool with his “ultimatum”. After all I was the one breaking up with him wasn’t I? Who cared about his ultimatums? Plaheeze!!!

I remember how he frequently reminded me that he had a distinct distrust for “all women”, with the exception of “his momma” (maybe he should have been dating his momma, it could’ve saved me from his drama). After all of his demands and requests for this, that, and a third, tell me why was he was the first person to call me upon my arrival at the wonderful J-O-B the Monday following our break up? Why was that? Hmm?

My ex was considered to have a personality that resembled Teflon in my eyes. You know how Teflon works right? We cook on those non-stick surfaces, smooth on the exterior and tough as nails and durable on the interior. As far as my guy was concerned I eventually felt that nothing seemed to “shake” him when it came to a relationship. He always managed to keep his cool on the exterior. He was one of those guys who would turn his cell off or put it in his pocket on vibrate knowing full well that callers would be trying to reach him. I surmise that he knew this act of “ignoring” drove people to the point of combustion most times. Well as fate would have it, my guy was no longer Teflon in my eyes anymore because he was now the one sweating me. He was the one begging and pleading for me to “give him my new number because he felt angry knowing he had no way of contacting me”. He was on full-fledged “cut-off”!! Sounds like a control issue to me but what do I know? I’m not a psychiatrist. He continually affirmed his dedicated love for me, and of course this is the best one, “he asked me why was I was ruining our relationship”. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Fact really is crazier than fiction! Yes sir re I was the one ruining our relationship but he was the one cheating. And men say women are fickled!! Give me a freaking break!

Look. I’ll probably end up giving him my new number once I’ve gotten over this whole situation. I always manage to maintain a decent cordial relationship with most of my exes when all is said and done anyway. The way I figure it, what’s the harm in being distant acquaintances? Especially since I know I won’t be dating him anymore. Although I am not fully recovered from the shock of his infidelity, I am sure within a few months I should be my ole self again. I know full well how difficult the dating scene is nowadays and TRUST me most times I am not even in the mix! Dating is frightening, ugh!

The last time that I checked, Teflon over time peels and falls apart doesn’t it? Doesn’t it fall from the pan onto your food and into your plate as you scrape your delectables from the pan? That’s because that good ole Teflon has begun to wither and loose its durability. Therefore to all of you men out there, who believe that you are slick and as sturdy as Teflon, don’t be so full of yourselves. All it takes is a woman who you really love who happens to value herself more than she values a poor relationship with you, Mr. Teflon and you’ll see just how your Teflon really holds up. In a word you’ll be panicking because she won’t want to be with you anymore and more importantly you’ll be history. All you’ll have left is her smoke, memories of her and the pain of a good relationship that you turned bad.

Hey who needs Teflon anyway? When you can have cast iron. Cast iron might be a little difficult to find these days, but it is sure worth the effort it takes to get your hands on it. What do you think?

(c) 2006 by C.V. Harris. All rights reserved.

C. V. Harris talks about topics others would rather not. She is currently writing her Memoir entitled Stubborn Stains.

Tags: cheating, , , , , , , , , dumpster, infidelity, liar, Susie Sunshine, Teflon, train platform, Vivian, younger woman

Where It Began The Circle of Refiam [Act II Scene 2 & 3] “Secret of the Beast”

Act II

Scene 2

Secret of the Beast: “Even if you win, you lose”

[2016 AD]

Advance: The World: it had come the last days; dramatic prophetic events were about to happen to earth. Israel was about to come under fire from an Army from the North [Russia]; An Arab Confederacy developed; Egypt was very much involved with this new order. Conquests, the Antichrist was near by. Oil and Gold were running wild at the stock market. A Superpower bends Egypt’s knees. Massive starvation was now taking place, and the United Nations could do nothing about it. Inflation hit the world under satanic influence, like an earthquake, skyrocketing inflation, and food riots and chaos; there was much international strife. Cataclysmic pole shifts were taking place, as the earth tumbles about, its crust slips a bit, trying to for an alignment. And on the Radio, and TV, the world leader speak:)

World Leader: Ye, this among gentiles, prepare for war, we will wake up to the mighty men of the world for it is time for our war, let them come up: beat your plowshares into swordscome, one and all, gather yourselves with me, come to the Valley Jeshoshaphat.

(And they came with alcohol, drugs and swords, and guns, and every thing possible, and the world saw much epidemic, and this was happening, while at the Circle of Refiam, much foolishness going on)

Azaz’el (to Horrep and Noge): men fall her beauty, and demons try to understand it, but they both glory under her flesh, and want more of it.

Roe: There are no laws with us pertaining to humans, never have been, but Noge makes rules for us like humans.

Noge: First tell how thou com’tst to find this woman called Agdo, who is she?

Horrep: She come to me, not I to her.

Noge: Tell me with no more ado!

Horrep: I was on Mt. Hermon, waiting for a sign, waiting for you, it was cold, the night vast, and stars over my head, I felt odd, it was 5000-years since I had been back here. I felt sounds of drums, it broke my silence, and deep thinking, and they sank into my being, as if they were pulling the cords of my heart, several harlots appeared and they got my attention, I cold hear their deep breathing, I cold see her deep lips, voiceless, she called me to her, Agdo. Then all of a sudden she was standing next to me, and her friends had gone; it was my silent wish to have her, she read my mind, and I knew you would want her, your first flesh, and from a beautiful woman.

Noge: You sure it was she?

Horrep: That one (pointing his finger at Agdo; I know it was herm my hands were on her breasts.

Noge: Yes! Then what? Did she speak? What did she say?

Horrep: Aye, what? This was her mystery, she didn’t need to, a gleam, a look, an echo in my mind, and she was all of this. I think it is God’s silence in her (the Jews magic); she can take enormous pain, she made love to me. The girl is not dumb, she just does not tell her secrets.

Noge: She is the most loveliest and strange of all things, more beautiful than day and night.

Azaz’el: See her, she looks so placid, she looks for the end of us, destruction.

(Vii is now walking, moving slowly towards her)

Noge: I told him to leave her alone!

Azaz’el: We have other business to attend to; she has taken enough of our time. We must enter the gates of Jerusalem soon, and into the Valley for the battle. I know not why he fools with this hussy. She walks and makes no sound. She smiles and music comes from her. All things come for a reason.

(All the giants, demon, angelic renegades are looking at the woman, her eyes now cast down, all pause to look, to think, silently: who is she)

(Vii has stopped, he seems to be frozen, no one knows why, she has lifted her head a ting, and her eyes see Vii that is all)

Semyaz: I remember once, a beautiful silver strange angelic being by the name of Ura’el came down to earth when we were cohabitating with the humans, God sent him, and he buried many of us for 5000-years, some of us here, others got away, but now we are all back, Beware now how thou dost see her, use her, lest you end up under stones like we were!

Azaz’el: That is for her to prove, who she is.

(Now Azaz’el started walking towards her, he has had enough of the parade of events she has created ((angrily))

(Azaz’el is now standing by Vii, takes a hard blow to his head, wakes him up form a spell, or something)

Azaz’el: Stay with me (he tells Vii and they both walk horridly to her). Her spirit and flesh ae not of time, sh has come form a different time then this, I know that, not sure why, or how, but I seem to have good second sight today, unless she is communicating something to my mind silently.

(Now they are in front of her, and he goes to grab her, and as the slightest touch sudden wings come to defend her, out of her back, above her should, below her waist, from her things. The sting, have thorns on them, they torment with their stings, and both Vii and Azaz’el’ step back))

Vii (stuttering): she has immortality.

Azaz’el: I will part those legs and those lips and rip her apart (now you see the gazing of lions in her eyes, and Azaz’el is unsure of what to do)

Act II

Scene 3

Agaliarept: the Henchman of Hell

(Agaliarept, has now appeared at the site called: the Circle of Refiam. And he calls to Azaz’el, he knows who she is)

Agaliarept: I am, the General of a legend of demon in hell, and I am Lucifer’s right hand man there: the Henchman of Hell they call me. I know who this woman is, Lucifer has sent me, he hears the chaos she is causing here, he is the king, the god of the air you know, and has sent me to explain. She is the daughter of Shamhat, the temple priestess of old Sumerian Uruk; dating back perhaps to 2700 BC, if not longer; the time of Gilgamish. She was the prostitute of Enkidu. Leave her daughter to her own, she is harmless, and only your distraction, Agdo’s penitence is this: you are her penitence.

(White doves appear and fly over her head, silver fire comes from her mouth, her breasts are not covered, and other parts of her body covered by wings. Azaz’el is angry, and tries to get closer to her, to harm her, and Agaliarept shakes his head, he didn’t seem to listen to him, and time is of the essence. As Azaz’el tries to touch her again, she turns into a scarlet butterfly. And is gone.

Semyaz: Yea! The northern armies have come now to overthrow Jerusalem, I have heard them fighting, and we were to join the battle (Azaz’el looking for the butterfly)) Semyaz speaking to everyone but Azaz’el))

Horrep: This was a trick to lure me into lust, and then my son, who is innocent of such feelings, and now the battle of Jerusalem is lost because of us, I fear, over a harlot. She is the witch of God, of Israel.

Noge: Father, she is just a gir?

Horrep: Of course, what else, if Lucifer finds out we are condemned to his wickedness likened to the dogs of hell? She brought this doom upon us; Russia has attacked Israel, and a nuclear attack has taken place, Russia has lost many men (telepathically)

See Dennis’ web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

Tag: Placy: an act

The Cadaverous Beasts of SSARG (Chapter 9 The Forbidden Zone)

Chapter 9

The Forbidden Zone

[The sound of war is developing with the rats, as they gather together from all regions of the woodlands, all 150,000 of them, to make a raid on the homeland of the Vipers, especially the holy city of Ral (as the Vipers are in a quarrel on who should get the right to destroy the ship; a scout rat has brought back this information). They are at the present, at the burnout campsite where they had done their war dance, feast, a few days ago, and had no sacrifice to offer the god of thunder. Now King Rat II, and his Son, Whimper Rat the III, who is not the bravest of all rates, but is very shrewd, will commence in a few hours to the mound area, second in command. He will lead the troops in surrounding the city, and invading it.

At this very moment, both viper generals are thinking of a way how to avoid a confrontation with their king, and at the same time, thinking they should kill him, and both rule the 20,000-vipers together, and bury the king, say the two invaders came in the middle of the night and slay him, consequently, a good reason to destroy the ship when due.]

Sweet Shadows
[From: ‘The Cadaverous Beasts of SSARG’]

She hears echoes in the shadows
“Come follow, come follow”
Leave Kings to Kings
And Queens to Queens
That will bring
Sorrow and laughter
Tomorrow.”
The wild shadow bears a hum,
Sunlight passes making to tremble
Veils of gray;
As they softly, shyly undo
[Stirred]
The dark,
And say, “here I am!”

(Now hurry over the darkness
And Pray!)

#1330 4/29/06 [#2]

Perhaps Arallets’ fear was blocked by the instinct in her to exhibit her braveness before another person, Tangor in particular, she had shown weakness before, and Tangor had magnesium, something about him she liked. Who may know, it was as it was; what prompts one person’s actions is a stranger to another. Tangor kept his spear hand alert, hand gripped tightly against his side, as they walked through the shadowy zone of the dark world.

Down! Came a haunting shadow. It shouted: “Attack is immanent, turn back!”

Moirommalit’s do not run easily, or avoid combat, it is not part of their make up, should anyone study their habits, and history. Bu forward she walked, in defiance.

“Who are you?” the voice said, a moment’s hesitation, Arallets did not speak, “and who comes so bravely into our land?” said the voice again.

“I am Arallets, daughter to the Great Queen Siren, who once ruled this world.”

“Oh, I do know of her, but she did not rule this side of the world, I assure you.” Said the voice; “and you are from Moiromma than?”

“Yes I am,” said Arallets [feeling kind of brave, and powerful as her mother’s reputation soaked into her skin.

“In this land you are either from the hive, or a stray from the dark world. This is the world of the dead, where all creatures come to when they die here on SSARG. Some go to the hive, others remain in the dark shadows doing penitence. We are area of two forms as you can now seesee me” and the being showed himself. He was about four feet tall; white, with white wings, a bee stinger on his back end, and a bat like body, with a human type head, long neck.

“The only difference between us, and them, is they are black, and have no stinger. But not all of them care to do repentance for their evil deeds they did while in the physical (they were in a milky-misty form). They’d not like the hive, too may rules, like: no eating one another, or no fighting, or no raping, you know, the normal every day hideous sins we used to enjoy while alive.”

Said Arallets with a joy to her tone: “Then you believe me, who I am?”

“Yes,” said The Bee-bat: White-Guiar], who lived in the holy hive, “yes, I do, why not, if you lie here it would cause a disturbance.”

“We are seeking a route to our ship in the Viper country but fear the rats will harm us, should we take the route around the forest,” explained, Arallets.

“Perhaps I can help,” said White-Guiar.

“That maybe be difficult,” said Tangor, “it is quite a distance I think.”

“That it is, indeed it is,” commented Guiar, and this habitat is made for the dead of this planet, not for the living. And you cannot go to the hive, it is forbidden, until you die that is, and should you die in this land, I will put a good word in with the Great Holy One. On the other hand, you cannot remain in this world, there is no food, or places to sleep, it is just space, darkness, milk like darkness, and a permafrost ground, with sinkholes in areas. Again I repeat myself: it is for the dead. We have evil ones here, evil warriors, that care not to go to the holy hive, we call them: the gnome-bats: Black devil bats they live in the dark shadows. Many of us here were vipers and rats and all such creatures, and did not like ways of the many, I will permit you to go your way, and perhaps try to help if I can, but even I could get lost in this dark world.”

Then out of nowhere appeared an evil warrior, a black devil bat blocking the path in front of Arallets: “Lucifer is my name,” said the devil bat, four feet tall, with crooked sharp teeth, and a long neck.

“The name sounds familiar,” said Tangor, we got one of those on earth, but I suppose the name is popular throughout the universe.”

“You make fun of me,” said Lucifer.

“Oh no, to the contrary, you are dangerous, and I just wish to step beyond you, get out of your way, leave you alone and get to my ship.”

With his wide-open mouth, his teeth grinding on top of each other, the teeth of the bat became physical, and the teeth lunged at Tangor, but came short of touching him, as Guiar had interceded, and halted him, by pointing his stinger at his face.

“So that is how it will be?” said Lucifer.

“For the moment, yes,” said Guiar. “He is one of the trouble makes here, be careful of this one. But I have an idea on how you can shift quickly through the currents, the wind currents of this world, it would be a flash, if it works.”

As they stood there for a moment, Guiar chanted: “Old blood with new blood, old flesh with new fleshand they should turn into shadows.” Guiar had transmitted his blood, his essence, his residue into Arallets frame, and likewise, into Tangor’s, and they had turned into a shadow form, “catch onto a current of wind now, and follow it, and you will be at the end of the darkness within minutes, and once you are, once you see light, chant these same words backwards.”

And they did, they turned into shadows, caught onto a wind current, and Lucifer and they were on a race to the light, his teeth garnishing behind them, trying to catch them at every turn, and just as Lucifer had caught Arallets, she had chanted her words, and to her dismay, she had fallen out of the darkness to light, with Lucifer, he was hanging onto her during the transferring process.

This world was knew to him, He had not seen light in over 20,000-years. And she thought as she stared at him: what have I done. And then Lucifer so engrossed with his new abode, walked aimlessly about leaving Arallets to herself, trying to figure out what new powers He hand outside of the dark world. Tangor now joined her, and as they started their long walk to the Mound area, they saw Lucifer walking into the Valley of Arrows alone, a smirk on His face.

Chapter 10

The Battle of Ral
[And the spacecraft]

See Dennis’ web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

Tag: Chapter Story

An Affair in Beijing [Chapater Eleven An Impending Illness]

Sandy may have been having her troubles, but so was I, I mean, the world was getting scary, I was loosing strength, and didn’t know why (something neurological was happening inside of me, a collapse it seemed like). Falling to sleep at my desk was one of the symptoms: my supervisor had found me there once, lying headfirst on the keyboard of my computer, it surely didn’t look good; on the other hand I didn’t know I was in the anomalous position when she had come into my office. And perhaps that was the push I needed to get heavier into real estate, in case I got fired for incompetence, which was on her mind thereafter. I had to run to the bathroom and lay in the corner, my spine tightened like a viper twisting it until I had tears in my eyes, and I found myself in a fetus position for 45-minutes; I couldn’t even remember what was being said the moment I’d leave my supervisors office. She threatened to fire me one day, I mean, for real this time, but when I gave her a letter from my doctor saying I was under examination for MS, she hesitated, scolded me for thinking I could out maneuver her, thinking this was a game. So I felt, whatever Sandy was going through, my life was also filled with gaps that I didn’t know how to fill. In most cases I’ve learned, self-interest is stronger then even the devils hold, or push on you, and so it seemed for me.

The one thing that was happening in January of 1997 was I had lost 80% of my sexual potency, the capability to hold a hard on longer than moment’s thought, once I got one, if at all I could get one. It was all happening too fast for me to digest, for me to understand its multidimensional facets; too high-speed for me for my mind to grasp, and the only thing my female supervisor had to say was: “You should sell your real estate it is distracting you form your job.” To be frank, there was something in every staff persons life at the VOA, distracting them from work, for her it was her daughter and her past life as a street woman; for the Senior Case Manager, it was his past marriage and his sassy kids that one day punched him in the mouth, and he came to work carrying about it. I asked what he did about it, and he did very little. I told him I’d have given my boy two black eyes, and one straight kick in the ass that he’d not walk for a week. And of course he thought I was too cruel, but then, by boy never thought of hitting me, lest find out for himself if I was kidding. And he took a frown to my way of thinking, and I too his. Perhaps Brad was the only sane one there, a young man who had sense, intelligence and cared about his people. He left and got into something else, a wise man indeed. Then there was Lance, a follower and scared of his own shadow, I think I pitied him more than anything, save; he hid around the corners when there was trouble in the air; a survivor indeed, at the cost of pride, sense, and a plastic life.

As I said, the Queen Bee of the hive at the Volunteers of America (VOA), told me I had now bought too many houses and it was distracting me, and perhaps it was, it was distracting that someone else was using work time to do personal things, like she was doing: monkey see, monkey do, like the Senior Case Manager, taking time away from my job; I confronted both these hypocrites on this subject, and of course (control issue or not) they did not like my outspoken attitude, no one really does, when you are right: they could, but I couldn’t; but who would take care of me when I got too ill to work, thus I needed a back up, if need be; my mother was too old, more than willing, but too old, and my wife had left me for that very reason (one illness after another); along with falling in love with someone bozo, who would leave her down the road, once he got an unpredictable illness himself, saying, “You’re going to leave me anyhow, so I might just as well leave you, you’ve done it before.” What goes around comes around as they say.

And so that is how it was, but perhaps sex wasn’t the only thing Sandy was after, I had more money now to offer her if indeed that was a motivator in her life, and if I wanted to keep her.

See Dennis’ web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

Tags: Beijing, , , , , , beijing article, Chapter Story, china, short romance, short romance story

Book Excerpt Old Habits Die Hard (A True Story About Animals)

One October afternoon as I shifted my books to the other arm and started up the hill toward the house, cows were the farthest thing from my mind. The sky was color of the turquoise dress my mother liked to wear to church, and the airfilled with the scent of old leaves, ripe wild grapes growing in the fenceline and plums that had fallen to the ground and split openfelt so warm that if I didn’t know better, I would think it was summer. Dad said at this time of year nice weather would not last long, and in another month, we might have snow on the ground. We hadn’t had weather this nice in more than a week, and I wanted to ride Dusty, my plump brown pony with the white mane and tail. That is, I wanted to ride Dusty if Mom would give me permission. Sometimes my mother had chores she wanted me to do as soon as I got home from school.

At the halfway point up the hill of our driveway, just beyond the plum trees growing in the fenceline, I could see Dusty, grazing on the sidehill in her pasture. The grass was not as green as it had been in the spring and summer, but as far as Dusty was concerned, grass was grass, even if it was faded grass and not growing much anymore. My pony spent so much time nibbling grass in her pasture that in most places, except for the spots where she had left piles of manure and did not want to eat the grass there, her pasture was shorter than the grass in the lawn. My big sister said she ought to mow the lawn again before winter, but so far, she hadn’t gotten around to it, although maybe that was because Dad had told her the grass would come back better next spring if it was not cut short this fall.

“Hi Dusty!” I shouted.

The pony threw her head up, stared at me, and then trotted toward the fence, ears perked, nickering. Beneath her feet, the yellow leaves of the silver maples growing along the edge of the yard, which had dropped half their leaves on the lawn and half in the pasture, made a swishing, crunching sound.

I looked toward the house and saw my mother sitting in her chair by the picture window. She was holding the newspaper up in front of her but was gazing directly back at me. She let one corner of the newspaper drop and waved. I waved back, and then I climbed the bank and headed across the lawn toward the porch steps. Yellow leaves from the silver maple not far from the living room window covered the lawn, and while I shuffled my way through the leaves, Dusty watched me from the other side of the fence. She knew I was going into the house, so she put her nose to the ground and went back to picking grass.

“Boy, am I glad you’re home,” Mom called out from the living room as the screen door latched shut behind me.

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. “Why?” I said.

Whenever my mother informed me that she was glad I was home, she usually had something she wanted me to do.

“I’m glad you’re home because Dad started picking corn today, so I want you to put the cows in and feed them,” she said.

I set my books on the kitchen table and went into the living room.

“Me? You want me to put the cows in? All by myself?”

Once in early spring when Dad had gone sucker fishing, my sister had helped me put the cows in the barn because, at the time, we had a bull, and Mom did not want me to put the cows in alone. The bull, a friendly yearling we called Bully-Loo, had since grown up and had been sold a while back. And during summer vacation, I had put the cows in by myself several times, but that was when we didn’t have any heifers. Over the summer, three Holstein heifers had grown big enough so they could go into stanchions, and every evening for the past week, it had taken both Dad and I to get them into the barn.

All summer long, my father had fed the heifers in a feed trough he had built in the barnyard. Last spring, the heifers were not big enough to go into stanchions, but they were too big to stay in the calf pen. Well, it wasn’t that they were too big to stay in the calf pen if one of them had gone in one pen and two in the other pen, except they were such good friends, they all three wanted to be in the same pen together. Dad figured if they stayed outside for the summer, he would not have to clean calf pens, and so, he had built the feed trough in the barnyard.

The heifers had quickly caught onto the idea that when the cows went into the barn, they should stand by the feed trough and wait for someone to bring out a pail of feed. But as Dad and I had discovered right away last week, the heifers would rather stand by the feed trough than come into the barn. My father said they did not want to come inside to eat because they were used to eating their feed outside. ‘Old habits die hard’ is what he’d said. When I asked him what that meant, he said it meant habits are hard to break and it would take a while for the heifers to become accustomed to the routine of eating in the barn.

“Did Dad say I should put the cows in?” I asked.

Mom shook her head. “No, but if you put them in this time, then for as long as the weather holds, your father can stay out in the field later and still start milking when he usually does.”

I knew what she was getting at. If I put the cows in, then Dad would have an extra hour every day to pick corn and would finish that much sooner.

“But what about the heifers?” I asked.

My mother pulled off her black-rimmed reading glasses and folded them up. “What about the heifers?”

“They’re hard to get in,” I said.

“Oh, don’t be silly. Those heifers have been going into the barn for a week. They ought to be used to it by now.”

Easy for Mom to think the heifers should be used to going into the barn. My mother had been paralyzed by polio before I was born and couldn’t get around well enough to put cows in the barn.

“I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do chores,” Mom continued, “although I don’t think heifers are so very much different nowadays.”

“But Momthey don’t like to come in the barn.”

My mother shook her head and frowned. “Nonsense. When they see the other cows going into the stanchions, they will go in, too,” she said.

I knew better than to try to change her mind.

I also knew I would probably still be chasing those heifers around the barnyard when Dad came home.

I went upstairs to change out of my school clothes and stood for a minute by the bedroom window, looking at the bright October sunshine. By the time I finished putting the cows in the barnif I could even get the heifers init would be suppertime. So much for riding Dusty today. Or on any other day for the rest of the week.

A little while later, I headed to the barn to measure feed for the cows. I worked my way down one row of stanchions and back up the other side, placing two scoops of feed in front of each stanchion. I could hear the cows moving around in the barnyard on the concrete slab in front of the door. The cows knew I was measuring out feed, and each of them wanted to be the first one inside.

Even though the air was cooler here in the barn, big, fat, black flies bumped and buzzed against the windowpanes, taking advantage of the sunshine streaming through the south windows. In a few weeks, when the weather turned cold, the flies would find someplace warm to hide for the winter.

I finished dumping the feed, opened the door and moved back out of the way as one by one, the cows rushed toward their stanchions. Their hooves went clickety-clack along the barn aisle, and some of them were in such a hurry, they were practically trotting toward their stalls.

When the last cow had come into the barn, I walked out the door and saw the three heifers standing next to the feed trough on the other side of the barnyard, tails swishing back and forth to chase away the flies.

Over the past week, my father and I had invented a system for getting the heifers in the barn. Dad would take a pail of cow feed (a mixture of ground corn and oats and molasses) and coax them away from the trough while I walked along behind them, waving my arms. Bit by bit we would move them toward the barn, and when they were safely inside, I would shut the door to keep them from going back into the barnyard. Then, once the heifers were in the barn, while Dad continued to coax them forward, I stayed behind them until they went into their stalls.

I stood on the concrete slab, looking at the heifers and wondering how I was going to get them into the barn by myself, until I remembered all of a sudden that I had not yet shut the stanchions. I turned and went inside the barn where the cows were busy eating their feed. At this time of year, the summer birds were gone, and something seemed out of place without the happy chatter of the barn swallows.

I stepped across the gutter channel and walked along in front of the cows to shut each stanchion. In our barn, the cows faced the wall, although Dad said some barns were the other way, with the cows facing the center aisle and their tails toward the wall. The wood-and-metal stanchions were easy to shut on this side of the barn because the cows had only started to eat their feed and were not pushing forward, but I knew that when I reached the end of the barn on the other side, shutting the stanchions would be harder since some of the cows would be stretching to reach more of their feed or to swipe some from their next-door neighbor.

I soon saw that I was right about the cows on the other end of the barn and spent a few minutes convincing some of them to move back a step or two so I could close their stanchions. I wanted to be sure the stanchions were firmly latched because if a stanchion popped open and the cow went outside again after she was finished eating her feed, she would not want to come back in the barn. This had happened once or twice while I was helping Dad put the cows in.

Satisfied that all of the stanchions were firmly latched, I went to the feed box, put some cow feed into a pail and headed for the barnyard. As soon as I stepped out of the door onto the concrete slab, the heifers, who had been watching for me, turned toward the feed trough. I took a better grip on the handle of the feed pail and set off across the barnyard. As I made my way toward the heifers, I kept a sharp eye on the ground in front of me so I wouldn’t accidentally step in a cow pie. Dry cow manure wasn’t so bad, but fresh cow pies were downright soupy, and I did not want to have to stop, go to the milkhouse and clean off my shoes with the hose.

The closer I came to the heifers, the more they crowded around the feed trough. One heifer pushed another one out of her way by putting her head down and nudging the other heifer’s flank.

I knew what the heifers were thinking.

“I’m not dumping this out here. You have to come in the barn,” I said.

One of the heifers, the one that had pushed her companion, turned her head and looked at me with soft, friendly eyes. She was mostly black with a little white spot on her forehead and two white feet. Some of our Holsteins were jumpy and nervous, but the three heifers were used to seeing people, and they knew that a person with a pail meant they would get something good to eat.

“Come bossie,” I said. “Come bossie, come bossie.”

I wasn’t sure why I was saying ‘come bossie, come bossie.’ What was I going to do after that? If I backed my way toward the barn, would the heifers follow?

Holding the pail out in front of me, I started backing toward the barn. I couldn’t go very fast, since I had to keep looking down to see what was on the ground behind me, and at this rate, I knew the trip to the barn was going to take a long time.

“Come bossie, come bossie,” I said, looking back at the heifers again.

I was so certain the heifers would not come away from the feed trough that I nearly dropped the pail when all three began to follow me.

I backed across the barnyard, alternating between keeping a watchful eye on the ground behind me, and a watchful eye on the heifers in front of me, and wondered what I was going to do once I reached the barn. I knew I could not circle around and shut the door, because if I did, the heifers would follow me outside. The object was to bring them into the barnnot to let them outside again.

Although, now that I had plenty of time to think during my slow backward walk across the barnyard, maybe I wouldn’t have to shut the door. Maybe Mom was right. The heifers had been going into the barn for one whole week.

Many minutes later, I backed through the barn door, with the heifers still following. They reminded me of kittens following their mother when she is taking them out to teach them how to hunt. I had seen the barn cats numerous times, headed across the barnyard with their kittens following single file behind them.

After I got into the barn, I kept right on shaking the pail, and the heifers kept right on following me.

Wouldn’t it be something if, after a week of Dad and I trying to get the heifers into the barn, that tonight, when I was putting them in for the first time by myself, they went into their stalls? Dad would be so surprised when he came home.

I still hadn’t figured out one thing, though. How was I going to persuade the heifers to go into their stanchions?

I was almost to the first empty stanchion when an idea came to me. Maybe, if I backed into the stall so the heifers could still see the pail of feed, one of them would follow me, and then, I could back through the middle of the stanchion, and when the heifer put her head into the stanchion, I could close it, and then I could do the same with the other two.

I stopped to let the heifers catch up.

“Here,” I said, “Look what I’ve got.”

Dad never let the heifers eat out of the pail when he was in the barnyard, coaxing them into the barn, because he said he didn’t want them to think that maybe he was going to feed them outside. But once he got into the barn, Dad often let the heifers eat a bite of feed as a reward for following him.

The heifers knew what to do when the bucket was held toward them, and each one was more than willing to put her nose into the pail and eat some cow feed.

So farso good.

Glancing behind me to avoid stepping off the edge of the concrete, I backed over the gutter channel, chanting “come-bossie, come-bossie, come-bossie, come-bossie.”

When my back was almost against the wood and metal stanchion, the mostly-black heifer took a step over the gutter and began to follow me into the stall.

I wanted to yell “yipee!” but decided I had better keep quiet. I did not want to scare the heifers.

Still, I couldn’t keep from smiling to myself. This was going to work out all

I didn’t even get a chance to think the word ‘right.’

With a startled “Moooo-oooo!” the heifer, standing with only her front feet in the stall, whirled around and leaped into the center aisle. She bumped into her companions and then pushed past them. One heifer, reeling from the collision, nearly fell into the gutter channel, but, fortunately, regained her footing and got back into the center aisle before the cow in the stanchion in front of her could react. Some of our cows were awfully quick with their feet. That’s what Dad saidthey were ‘awfully quick with their feet’and the cow in front of the heifer who had stepped into the gutter was one of those who could kick in the blink of an eye.

Before I quite knew what was happening, all three of the heifers had turned and were running toward the door at the far end, running as if they were running for their lives. Some of the other cows, surprised by the commotion in the center aisle, began to swish their tails with nervousness, and a few others pulled back against their stanchions. Instead of the quiet sound of cows licking up the last of their feed, there was now the crashing, banging, jingling and jangling of the stanchions and the rat-a-tat-tat of hooves hurrying down the barn aisle.

I could hardly believe it. I had been so close to getting one of the heifers into a stanchion. And now all three of them were gone. The sudden disappointment made my arms feel as heavy as if a bag of barn lime was strapped to my wrists.

But what in the world had frightened the heifers?

Our cows got nervous once in a while if they saw something out of the ordinary in the barn, like our dog, Needles, suddenly coming around a corner when they didn’t expect to see him. But Needles, a long-haired cream-colored Cocker Spaniel and Spitz mix, could not have scared the heifers because he was with Dad, picking corn. No matter what my father was doingplowing, disking and planting crops in the springcutting and baling hay during the summeror harvesting corn or soybeans in the fallNeedles went to the field with Dad so he could keep an eye on things.

The barn cats could not have frightened the heifers, either, because the heifers saw barn cats all the time, especially Tiger Paw Thompson, who liked to parade back and forth along the edge of the barnyard feed trough while the heifers were eating. The cat followed whoever was carrying feed to the barnyard, and then he would jump up on the feed trough. Sometimes the heifers licked him with their sandpapery tongues, and he would come away from the trough with sticky wet cow feed smeared all over his tiger-striped back.

But other than Needles or the barn cats, I could not think of anything that might have scared the heifers.

I put down the bucket and stepped over the gutter channel into the center aisle. To my left, on the other end of the barn, the three heifers were trying to go through the door all at the same time. I turned in the opposite directiontoward the door on the driveway side of the barnand could hardly believe my eyes.

There, looking over the half-door, was my mother.

“What,” I said, “are you doing out here?”

At the other end of the barn, I could hear the heifers, their hooves scrambling and scraping against the concrete.

“Iahwell,” Mom said, “I came towellto see if I could help.”

As I turned my head to look at the heifers again, they finally discovered they had to go through the door one by one. The first heifer trotted outside, then the second heifer, then the third. And then I couldn’t see them anymore.

“Boy,” Mom said, “they’re a little jumpy, aren’t they.”

Before I could answer my mother, our pickup truck pulled up by the gas barrel across the driveway from the barn.

“Dad’s home!” I said.

My father opened the door and waited for Needles to hop out before getting out himself. Needles headed toward us, his feathery tail going in circles, as Dad rolled up the truck window and then carefully shut the door. Sometimes Dad slammed the pickup door. Sometimes he pushed it shut so that it closed with a quiet click.

“What are you doing out here?” Dad inquired.

I could tell my father was as surprised to see Mom in the barn as I was.

My mother moved one crutch to the side and slid her foot toward it so she could turn to face Dad.

“I thought maybe I could stand by the calf pen to keep those heifers from running up in front of the cows,” she said.

Often when we were putting heifers into the stanchions for the first time, or if Dad had bought some new cows at an auction, they ran up in front of the mangers because they were afraid and didn’t know where to go.

Beneath the bill of his blue-and-white chore cap, my father frowned and a puzzled look came into in his eyes. “What do you mean, keep them from running up in front of the cows? The heifers don’t run up in front of the cows,” he said.

Now it was my mother’s turn to look puzzled. “But I thoughtwellall I’ve been hearing for the past week is how much trouble you’ve had getting those heifers into the barn.”

Dad took his cap off and slapped it against his leg. The top of his cap and the shoulders of his blue chambray work shirt were covered with a fine layer of dust kicked up by the corn picker. He put the cap back on his head.

“We’ve had trouble getting the heifers into the barn,” my father said. “Once they forget about that feed trough outside, they usually go right into their stanchions.”

My mother stared at Dad, her eyes as round as the two fifty-cent pieces I kept in a little wooden box on my dresser.

“You mean to tell me that all this time when you said you had trouble getting the heifers into the barn, you meant that you literally had trouble getting them into the barn? That you didn’t have trouble getting them into the stanchions, but into the barn?” Mom said.

“That’s right,” Dad replied.

My mother started to laugh. “Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!”

“What’s so funny?” Dad inquired.

“You should have seen them,” Mom gasped.

“Yeah, you should have seen ‘em, Daddy!” I said. “I got them to come in the barn, but then Mom scared them, and they ran away. They all three tried to go through the door at once.”

Dad grinned. “How long did it take ‘em to figure out they had to go one at a time?”

I fingered the collar of my barn shirt, an old white blouse of my sister’s that she said was too short to properly tuck into the waistband of her skirts. “I don’t know. Maybe a minute. They kept pulling back, going forward and getting stuck and pulling back and going forward.”

“Ha-ha-ha,” Mom said as she wiped her eyes again. “I was a big help, wasn’t I.”

My father rubbed his ear. “You got out here just at the right time, I’d say. Or maybe it was the wrong time.”

He turned to me. “I suppose we’d better see where those heifers went to. I hope they didn’t end up at the back of the farm.”

“At the back of farm?” I said.

Dad nodded. “You know how some of those Holsteins are. When they’re riled up, there’s no telling where they’ll go.”

“Hmmmmm,” Mom said, “I guess you don’t need me out here anymore. I’m going back to the house.”

“We’ll be in for supper after we get the heifers inside,” Dad said.

My father opened the half-door, stepped into the barn and latched the door behind him. We walked down the center aisle together to the other door, and as soon as we came out of the barn, we saw the heifers.

They were not at the back of the farm.

They were waiting by the feed trough.

For the next forty-five minutes, Dad and I chased the heifers around the barnyard. Every time we got them close to the door, they stood for a few seconds, staring into the barn, and then they turned around and galloped away, tails held high in the air, kicking up their heels. After a while, the heifers must have gotten tired of the gameor else they were hungrybecause eventually, all three of them trotted into the barn.

“Quick,” Dad said. “You go in ahead of me, and then I’ll shut the door behind us before the heifers can run outside again.”

Once the heifers were in the barn, it only took a few minutes to get them into their stanchions.

“Tell you what,” Dad said as we headed toward the house for supper. “If you want to put the cows in tomorrow, that’s fine, because it would save time for me, but don’t worry about the heifers. Leave them out in the barnyard, and then when I come home, we can get them in. And while you’re waiting for me, you can ride Dusty. You might as well take advantage of this weather while we’ve got it.”

Dad glanced at me and his right eye closed in a wink.

“Well,” Mom said when we walked into the kitchen, “did you get those heifers in?”

“Finally,” Dad said as he hung up his chore cap. “And here’s what we’re going to do after this. The kiddo is going to put the cows in, but she’s going to leave the heifers out in the barnyard. And while she’s waiting for me to come home so we can put the heifers in, she’s going to ride Dusty.”

“Ride Dusty?” Mom said.

“Yes,” Dad replied. “She’s going to ride Dusty. There’s no sense in those heifers getting so riled up that it takes forty-five minutes to put them in the barn.”

My father glanced at the clock, an old butter-yellow Time-A-Trol on the wall by the kitchen sink. “It’s later now than if I’d put the cows in myself when I got home.”

Mom sighed, and I noticed she had a funny expression on her face. If I didn’t know better, I would have said she looked like she was ashamed of herself.

“Yes, it’s later than normal. And that’s my fault. I’m sorry,” my mother said. “I should have realized when she said the heifers were hard to get in that there was something to it.”

I could hardly believe my ears and turned to stare at my mother.

“I can tell you one thing, though,” Dad said.

“What’s that?” Mom asked.

“I’m never again making the mistake of feeding heifers outside, if I can help it.”

For the rest of the week, I put the cows in after I came home from school, and then, while I waited for Dad, I would go out to the pasture to get Dusty.

On Saturday morning, Dad took the feed trough down, and once the feed trough was gone, within a few days, the heifers started coming into the barn with the cows and went into their stalls as if they had been doing it all along.

“Should have taken that trough down in the first place,” Dad muttered when the heifers started coming in by themselves.

My father was right, I think. Old habits do die hard. Not necessarily as far as the heifers were concerned, howeverbut for Dusty. For the rest of the fall, whenever I helped Dad put the cows in and then walked out of the barn afterward, Dusty would be waiting by the fence between the barnyard and corncrib, nickering, her head bobbing up and down.

I never for a minute, though, fooled myself into thinking my pony wanted to go for a ride. No, what she really wanted is to get out in the yard so she could pick grass. During the four days that I rode Dusty after putting the cows in, I spent half my time pulling her head up, urging her a few steps forward, pulling her head up, urging her forward

Oh, wellat least I had a chance to spend an hour with my pony on a few warm October afternoons when I got home from school. And that was a habit I could most definitely get used to.

To read other sample chapters, sign up for the free newsletter or to order books — http://ruralroute2.com

© LeAnn R. Ralph 2005=06

From the book: “Cream of the Crop (More True Stories from a Wisconsin Farm)” by LeAnn R. Ralph (trade paperback; October 2005; 190 pages; $13.95; FREE! shipping) — http://ruralroute2.com

“Highly recommended reading” — The Midwest Book Review

“(Cream of the Crop) was extraordinary from the first story to the last. I laughed, cried and sighed at the way you bring the emotions of people and animals to the page.” (R.S. — Clintonville, Wisconsin)

About The Author
LeAnn R. Ralph

Author of the books:

Christmas in Dairyland,

Give Me a Home Where the Dairy Cows Roam,

Cream of the Crop and

Preserve Your Family History

http://ruralroute2.com

Tags: book excerpt, , old habits die hard
Pages (30): [1] 2 3 4 » ... Last »
Close
E-mail It